you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
