Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
