Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
