she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So much rum. So many feels.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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