Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
