dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
