its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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