The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
