But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My penis needs a shock collar
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
