i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
