Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
