She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
