No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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