dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
