I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
farters have to be the big spoon...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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