Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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