Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I looked at my own cervix.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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