My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
