You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
