Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
