When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
