You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Randomize
