I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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