wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
