Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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