If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
