Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
