That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
apparently the secret to your success is patron
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
