The brown eye won't let me do that either.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
