you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Do vagina's smell?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
