i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
