We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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