I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
