It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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