I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Sober January is a disaster.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Randomize