She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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