The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
