I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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