We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
