I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
