All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
This baby is an asshole
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize