I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
