Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
