Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize