so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
