i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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