There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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