haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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