Define "chronic" masturbator.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
