'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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