yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We have started to decorate penises.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
