I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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