Someone shit on the floor
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
