Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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