thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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