all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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