I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She's JV to your varsity
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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