I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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