She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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