My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You are the jesus of drinking
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
