wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize