Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
