dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
