How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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