we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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